Today is Day of the Dead (known in Mexico as Dia de Muertos), and many cultures around the world have similar traditions whereby the deceased are recognized and celebrated in many ways. At a DOTD party this evening I was remembering someone who passed recently. He played an important role in my life and continues to serve as a guide of sorts, inspiring me and motivating me in contrasting ways. Many of my best teachers are those people in my life who show me loud and clear what not to do, or they help me to see my own weaknesses and trigger points, leading me to do some deeper shadow work.
My primary work is to serve as a role model and guide for self and others, to live authentically and with passion. It has taken me over thirty years to remember who I am and to feel truly comfortable in my skin (most of the time!). I am eternally grateful to be mostly fulfilled and living a peaceful, passionate and even steady existence. It was not always so and over time I will continue to share personal insight with you – the stuff that made it possible for me to not only accept myself fully but to pursue the life of my dreams. When we settle for things, be it a bruised apple at the grocery store (“Aww it’s okay, I will buy it anyway, someone has to eat it…” you say), or a ho-hum marriage, we are calibrating our vibration to that of what I call the Settle Channel, or the frequency we will continue to pick up on, attract and transmit. What we are breeds more of the same.
I have come to feel deeply insulted by myself when I make choices that are not honoring the mind-body-soul that was provided to me for at least this lifetime. I want to speak up when I hear comments like “It sucks but it’s life…” or “I would love to ___ but I could never…” or “Life is crazy and busy and it’s all I can do to manage the basics..”. I get it. When you are in survival mode it is impossible to see the broader picture or to have the space and peace of mind to consider how to get from A to Z, i.e. how to achieve a dream that might feel so far away. On top of the everyday challenges of life, if addiction is part of the equation there are added complexities and it becomes very difficult to break the cycle. Many addicts (broadly speaking) are also dreamers and visionaries; often entrepreneurial and artistic; the high-functioning addict may be leading a successful organization or holding an important political position; they may seem happy and at ease much of the time, and you might think that their family life is to be admired.
My loved one whom I honor tonight, died in the most tragic way I can imagine. He did not remember who he was in this lifetime and he was stuck in the shadow. He had moments along the way and there was a flickering light within that sometimes blazed bright for others to see. Even he could feel it at times and would pound the pavement letting everyone know what his vision was and how he was going to be of service to others throughout the world. People wanted to be with him in those moments and they believed him, loved him, still remember him for that shining glory. If you are struggling to maintain that flickering light, or if you feel limited by your current existence, find a model and do what they do. Surround yourself with dreamers who have manifested a life without regret. Above all, treat yourself well and stop choosing the bruised apple!