We teach what we are meant to learn. For so long I was the good girl, sitting quietly and doing what was asked of me, looking pretty and agreeing with everything others shared. I received attention for what some in Western society refer to as angelic qualities. This became my false identity and it also served to alienate me from some people who understandably misinterpreted my intentions. I did not fully develop my voice and I did not know what I wanted or needed to be true to my core self, so how could I expect anyone else to really get me?! One of the mixed signals I sent was “Pay attention to me but don’t look at me.” Huh? I dreamed of being famous, having audiences around the world applauding me with a standing ovation for…..? There is no way this dream could become clear or achievable when I did not feel worthy or authentic. I did not know what I stood for or how I was meant to show up in the world. I just wanted to be loved and I wanted to experience true serenity, without worry or apologies. As I became more and more lost in a sea of unmet expectations and ego-driven madness, I made myself invisible.
On this Memorial Day, I remember but do not grieve that false identity that no longer lives with me. I honor my authentic self and I affirm that I am using this mind, body and soul as it was intended, to be of the greatest service to those most in need around the world. In taking care of my self, I am strengthening my ability to show up in the world as both a student and a teacher.
It has been a long journey that I will forever be on, and today I am celebrating a new body and a new life, healthier and happier than I have ever been and it keeps getting better! Take it from me, someone who had a dark and gloomy existence only nine years ago, the bigger your goal the more likely you are to succeed. Oh yeah – YOU CAN LOOK AT ME NOW!